The Ten Baddest Babes Who Are Definitely Out of Our League
PocketEpiphany
Published
08/04/2021
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Girlfriends have been a major part of video games from the very beginning. Initially, they were damsels in distress that needed saving. Later, they were fellow heroes that you could romance in RPGs and dating simulators.
While some of these gals are softhearted feminine stereotypes, others are just downright weird and freaky.
While some of these gals are softhearted feminine stereotypes, others are just downright weird and freaky.
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1.
Catwoman
Catwoman seems to oscillate back and forth between being a love interest for Batman/Bruce Wayne and being a master thief with her own agenda. And that dichotomy is on full display in Batman: Arkham City.
Batman and Catwoman take turns helping each other out and even saving each other’s lives. As for what makes Catwoman so freaky, it’s really a combination of things.
First of all, she isn’t afraid to flirt and cavort with a bunch of colorful serial killers to get her way. Second, she goes everywhere covered in skintight leather. Third, her movements and poses are insane: need we say more? -
2.
Catwoman
Catwoman seems to oscillate back and forth between being a love interest for Batman/Bruce Wayne and being a master thief with her own agenda. And that dichotomy is on full display in Batman: Arkham City.
Batman and Catwoman take turns helping each other out and even saving each other’s lives. As for what makes Catwoman so freaky, it’s really a combination of things.
First of all, she isn’t afraid to flirt and cavort with a bunch of colorful serial killers to get her way. Second, she goes everywhere covered in skintight leather. Third, her movements and poses are insane: if this girl is on screen, you are going to see her butt in the air as she moves or her boobs spilling out of her catsuit even when she is standing still! -
3.
Liara T’Soni
Among Mass Effect love interests, you might not immediately think of Liara as the freaky one. After all, characters like Jack seem much more outwardly aggressive and horny.
However, Liara goes through a pretty insane character arc. She goes from newbie archeologist to (if you complete the DLC) becoming the fearsome Shadow Broker. At this point, she uses her newfound power to offer you the dirt on almost everyone you have worked with (great respect of boundaries there, girl).
To top it off, Liara is apparently cool with your swinging lifestyle. In my playthrough of the remastered trilogy, we maintained our relationship across three games...and she didn’t bat an eye when I seduced Kelly Chambers and had a one-night stand with Javik. Instead, we just went ahead and kept talking about cranking out blue babies. -
4.
Sniper Wolf
Sniper Wolf is more of an imagined girlfriend than an actual one. Specifically, poor Otacon fancies that he loves her and bawls his little eyes out after she dies.
Before that, though, we see Sniper Wolf is pretty damn weird. She makes sure to always bare her boobs to the elements despite going on a mission in Alaska. And we later find out she is addicted to pentazemin, constantly popping pills.
It sounds like Sniper Wolf likes to fall out of her clothes and isn’t afraid to pop some pills to have a good time. That’s a fun weekend waiting to happen! -
5.
Morrigan
Looking for a well-endowed goth girlfriend? We can’t help you in real life, but you can always play the Dragon Age games and try to seduce Morrigan.
As a romance option, Morrigan is fairly wild. She espouses crazy-ass Darwinism more than the X-Men villain Apocalypse. And she doesn’t hide the fact that she craves a ton of raw power.
She also uses her shapeshifting abilities to explore the world in new ways. And depending on how kinky her boyfriend is, those shapeshifting powers would be a great way to bring all your freaky DeviantArt fantasies to life. -
6.
Cortana
Cortana is one of the most unconventional girlfriends in all of video game history. First of all, she has no physical form. Instead, she alternates between being a hologram and being a voice in Master Chief’s mind.
However, as a hologram, she makes sure to look like a stripper that someone might encounter in Star Trek. And we know she is horny for Chief, with her once describing him as “attractive in a primitive-animal sort of way.”
Honestly, the whole series portrays Cortana as a flirty, half-naked hologram who wants to bang the green robot man. And this makes us question what she really meant when she famously said “bet you can’t stick it.” -
7.
Yennefer
Some of our choices for freaky video game girlfriends are more obvious than others. And Yennefer is a great example of this!
In her topsy-turvy relationship with Geralt in the Witcher series, we have seen Yennefer take control of his mind and body and put up with Geralt banging other women. Oh, and she shamelessly uses magic powers to make herself into a hottie.
We have really only scratched the surface of what makes Yennefer such a freaky girlfriend. You’ll just have to play the series to discover the rest! -
8.
Tifa
In terms of personality, Tifa is pretty shy in Final Fantasy VII. This doesn’t, however, keep her from being quite freaky in her own ways!
First of all, she isn’t afraid to show off her “assets” in tight-fitting clothing. And she puts those assets to use when she pretends to sell herself as a sex slave to Don Corneo.
And lest we forget, this “shy” girl was also a recruiter for a terrorist cell. She’s not exactly a shrinking violet, but if you want one of those, I’m sure Aerith is selling. -
9.
Kitana
In her own way, Kitana is one of the strangest characters in Mortal Kombat. But you might not notice this because she is often overshadowed by her (literally) monstrous sister.
She was an assassin and all-around enforcer for her evil dad. But time spent with her future boyfriend Liu Kang helped her mend her evil ways.
Over the course of MK's convoluted story, she dies, becomes an empress of Netherrealm, and summons a younger version of herself to reset the timeline. And in one of the endings to Mortal Kombat 11, she and Kang basically replace Raiden and become gods manipulating the future. It doesn’t get much freakier than that! -
10.
Amy Rose
At least in her own mind, Amy Rose is Sonic the Hedgehog’s girlfriend. And she may be a much, much greater threat to Sonic’s safety than Dr. Robotnik.
That is because Amy Rose is a deranged and obsessed little freak. The way she follows Sonic around might be cute if not for the fact that she comes complete with a giant hammer and weird anger issues.
To make things even weirder, Amy Rose is canonically 12 years old. That’s right: she’s obsessed, armed, and dangerous. And even if you survive her affection, she’s going to get you seated down in front of Chris Hanson before you know it! -
11.
Pauline
Mario has a pretty freaky girlfriend. No, we’re not talking about Peach. Instead, we’re focusing on his original love interest: Pauline.
Pauline was abducted by Donkey Kong and needed to be rescued. And while there is no confirmation of this, there exists a nonzero chance that she has had an encounter with the big man’s Donkey Dong.
Believe it or not, Pauline goes on to have a diverse career that includes singing, owning a club, and becoming the mayor of New Donk City. Considering the sex lives enjoyed by rockstars, club owners, and powerful politicians, we are confident that all of these together make Pauline a certified freak!
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